Feelings of personal failure vs artistic progress?
current mood: drunk and contemplative
current song: Swallow, Emilie Autumn
I have been busying myself with a few oil paintings recently (no pictures since I don't have a decent camera) which has been very effective in making me not think about being ugly, kind of lonely and generally pretty useless. (Which seems to have been more or less a theme for about a year.)
I wonder if the fact that I've been doing artistically well (At least I think I have.) has any connection with my personal life being more or less of a fiasco?
As in; the feelings of failure that accompanies my personal life means that I put more energy into painting because in a painting it doesn't really matter what I look like, if I'm loved/liked/seen as a freakish thing or whatnot. (Also, the uglier I feel the more hesitant I am to go out and mingle with people, which in turn gives me more time to paint.)
Actually, I have no idea what the devil I'm talking about right now. (I should run away before I'm arrested for typing under the influence of alcohol. Haha!)